I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
