I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
