i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
