I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
