I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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