8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
