Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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