you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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