I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
