you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
