I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
