I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
