I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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