she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
