wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
