So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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