Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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