my sisters under your porch take her home
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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