What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have fence marks all over my body
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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