This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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