Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
