Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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