Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
