it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
