My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
