dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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