So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
