I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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