I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
