he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
