i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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