im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
