Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
