Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
