Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
