Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
