Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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