i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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