If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
