Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The ass gains better be worth it
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