I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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