a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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