i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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