is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
