nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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