So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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