Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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