that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
