I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
