i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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